Dad was too busy and told the boy to go play with his sister.  The little boy persisted in crying, telling his father that his sister had hit him in the face with a ball.  Finally, Dad stopped what he was doing and in front of friends and strangers he said, "Come on! You've got to learn to toughen up. Boys don't cry! Now be a man and go play."  This is a good example of how sexual gender becomes attached to feelings.  Although the boy was hurt and wanted the attention and comfort of feeling loved, because boys are boys, they are often denied the comforting affection girls are readily given.  These are just a couple examples of how the separation relative to the feelings of men and women can take place.

As children grow older, many things take place within the family which may inadvertently teach children differences between male and female reactions caused by the same feelings.  What we most often fail to recognize as parents is that our children not only learn from the things we say around them, but children pick up concepts from our unspoken attitudes and gestures.  These concepts register in their absorbing minds; children attentively observe how we react as men or women according to our male/female roles as parents.  Other adults outside of their home environment begin to confirm some of the things learned at home.  This additional influence helps to engrave behavioral patterns, patterns that once formed become part of our structured character for life.

Why is our character structured in this way?

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